I wear black for me!
May is melanoma and skin cancer awareness and prevention month. The melanoma community is working to do some wonderful things for education and awareness. Last year I was blessed to have many people honor me by wearing black on melanoma Monday and it felt so good. This November at the annual local melanoma walk I had a large team of family, friends and co-workers supporting Team Mela-NO-mas. I feel like after almost five years of this journey, people are understanding melanoma better. They know it’s not “just” skin cancer. It first invaded a mole, then my lymph nodes, then my lungs and even my brain.
At this point, I am healthier than I have been in years and have real hope that I have a long future dealing with melanoma in more of a chronic disease relationship than a fatal disease. BUT that does not mean that I haven’t narrowly avoided a death sentence and may very well end up fighting for my life again. This fight has changed me in ways I never thought it would. I’m not sure if I will ever be able to communicate them. Daniel and I joke that I am “past my expiration date.” And boy am I thankful for that!
But this journey has left me restless. I am still frustrated that people close to me don’t “get it.” I see friends who have walked this journey at my side not wear sunscreen or complain to me about tan lines. It’s pretty obvious when I go to the park with them and they put sunscreen on their kids (just because I’m there) none of them are in the habit of applying it daily. Celebrating tans or complaining about tan lines developed on vacation is like rubbing salt in my wounds. And while I try to find peace with their choice, to be honest, it feels belittling to my journey. There ARE things they can do to protect themselves and their children from this disease and when they don’t take those steps, it’s tough not to take it personally.
For all my frustrations, there are people getting the message. I do have friends who diligently slather sunscreen on their kids and themselves daily. I have friends who have stopped tanning because of my story. I have friends who have had skin checks and avoided a late stage diagnosis like mine.
This month there are some wonderful campaigns going on. There are clever slogans and moving videos. I will be sharing many of those. Many of my fellow warriors are sharing their own stories. But this year, I’m not asking you to wear black for me. I’m asking you to learn from my journey to hell and back. Change your habits. Protect yourself from the sun. Check your skin. Check your kids. Make a derm appointment. Work to change your perception of a healthy glow to undamaged and protected skin. Try a new sunscreen to make it easier to wear. Do one thing for YOU and your family. I’ll wear black for me. If you wear black, do it for you, but don’t make that the only thing you do.
Because of you I am diligent about slathering sunscreen on my kids myself and my husband. Because of you I am aware of Melanoma and we get checked. Because if you I know that all sunscreens are not equal. You’ve made a difference in my life and for that I am forever grateful. I share your story and I am looking forward to sharing it and teaching our Girl Scouts sun safety this weekend. Thank you for all that you do! (((Hugs)))
Thank you for the constant encouragement, Brenda! I am so glad you are keeping yourself and your kids sun safe!
Well spoken, Martha, well spoken.
Thanks Mom! I love you!
Until I met you, I went to a tanning salon every spring “to get a little color”. I not only do not go anymore I share with others how bad it is. I have learned so much from your journey and am proud of my white legs now! Love you sweet girl!!
Thank you Kelly! I am so thankful you keep your skin and those girls safe now! Love you! Thank you for your faithful prayers!
You, my friend, have changed me and my family for the better. We wore sunscreen before–but now we wear better sunscreen, more sunscreen, and we reapply sunscreen. I have stopped going out by the pool to get some color before the summer, and have started using our pool umbrellas more. Thank you, friend 🙂
Thank YOU for all of your support and love!
I definitely need to be more diligent with sunscreen. This was a good reminder of that.
Thanks Shelly! It can be a tough habit to establish, but it’s an important one! I’ve learned the hard way!
Thank you for sharing your story – the lived experience is such a powerful teaching tool! Great reminder!!
Thank you. It isn’t the story I would have chosen, but I’ve promised God I would share the story I’ve been given!
I’m so incredibly pleased to hear how well you’re doing. When I was reading blogs more regularly (everything fell by the way when Google Reader went to the great RSS Feed in the sky) I would follow along particularly interested as I have had melanoma (stage 1b in 2001)
Thank you! My blog reading habits died with Google Reader as well. I miss it so, can’t seem to get in the habit of using the new RSS readers. Sorry you have been touched by melanoma.
As a family of ridiculously fair-skinned blondes, I have struggled with the lack of color my entire life. I still hate it, if I’m honest – but there are better and better products for “fake” color if we need it, or maybe someday I’ll grow up and stop caring as much 🙂
Until then, I’m so thankful for the melanoma community. Your story and others like it have gotten my attention more than once. It’s not “just” skin cancer!
I will confess I sometimes wince at my reflective legs, but I am trying really hard to change my perspective for my daughter. I would have her bottle or spray tan in a heartbeat rather than UV tan, though! Fake and bake is a great alternative! Thanks for your honesty AND sweet comment!